Back in February during the Super Snow Moon, the biggest and brightest SuperMoon of the Year, I laid where the sun met my favorite cozy, curly ceremonial carpet through ocean-colored curtains and gazed effortlessly into the fountaining teardrop shaped leaves of my Umbrella tree.
Reaching up to my altar, I grabbed a newfound friend, a forest green Heart-chakra bell and rang it intuitively tracing my body like a finger follows a highlighted line a map. The wise, yet young Schefflera tree and my crystal friends like Lepidolite [yes... that's right, I said ... my crystal friends] seemed to have come together in that moment to create a sacred soul container for me.
The sun warmed the skin of my inner thighs, as I laid out in butterfly and prayed reverently to the most high,
" God change my heart, please make me new... open me up, I don't want to hide anymore... this fumbling through to get back to you and back to my purposes ... this is NOT me. Please God, I am ready for unconditional love- I am tired of falling into this trap of thinking I can control anything! I give my life to you, I just want to serve the truth. Make me whole, give me a new heart, I forgive myself and I forgive all...I am here to act as your daughter, as a messenger of all that is light. I give it all up."
I prayed and meditated, resonated and visualized until I popped up feeling a fire of security and a clarity that was incomparable, the guidance coming through was direct and undeniable.
I cancelled everything that I had planned and then set out to spend the rest of the day giving it all up to myself. I bathed in Essential oils and herbs by candle light, danced and adorned myself in the richest of my plant ally body butters and let myself get swept away as I moved like a snake charmer to one song after another that like the strongest of medicines traveled deep to my bones.
I casually said yes to spend a night in ceremony after receiving a oh-so-timely invite from a soul-sister. The rest of the day became about receiving, "...just show up and receive!" A clear instruction that this time, for the first time, felt effortless for me.
As I returned home late that night after sitting in a circle of ecstatically sweet humans, I shared the profundities that came to me throughout the day with my partner. 12 midnight and I was absolutely giddy, sitting upright just going on and on; it was a bit like that first day of school feeling (well... minus the anxiety I used to get about the fact that I deeply wanted others to accept me, but with hand I was dealt in that time the odds, in my mind, were obviously against me).
As I went on feeling as if I had chugged 5 espressos in 30 minutes, body fully buzzing, a switch flipped... "I have to go!" I looked over to Jon, one of my most beloved partners in this life who has, since the day I met him, lovingly supported all I do. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he too could feel the shift of the energy in the room.
The excited child-like essence that beamed from me transformed itself in a split second to a radiating fire that moved through my voice with a sharp clarity. In less than 2 minutes flat I laid out a vision to travel the world collecting the untold wisdoms, stories and prayers of grandmothers around the world and why NOW was the time. I invited him to join me though knew that this was a BIG DEAL, especially seeing that he just welcomed his 2nd grandson, after loosing his first a little over 9 months before.
Though I knew I was asking a lot, I felt whatever was to come of this was exactly why we were brought together. I knew either way I was going and nothing would stop me from fulfilling this vision. I knew my prayer from earlier that day was being answered, I was being led to my soul's service. I felt royally draped in divine courage and strength.
Within 5 minutes of laying out my seemingly seamless plan of action, Jon agreed to spend the next 3 months traveling with me through Central and South America. Our goal was to make it down to meet with the Huin Kuni tribe of Brazil, the guardians of the rain forests, passing through as many countries as we could by land.
I had learned the year before about jumping full-fledge, blindly into projects and giving too much of myself to something that in the end would not pan out and even though this felt so clearly different, I prayed again. This time I asked for assurance...
"Hey God, so WOW this feels BIG and if this is what I think it is, if you are sending me out to pursue this path... can you give me some confirmation? Let me rise with the energy that I feel coursing through me just as strong tomorrow."
I avoided the urge to hop on the silver box and begin busting out a go-fund me and building my newest website, yet instead visualized this whole thing unfolding, until I drifted off .
I rose up early the next day absolutely super charged... the gratitude that poured out of my heart that day still brings tears of joy to my eyes.
God was listening... not only listening, but co-creating with me, acting in accordance with my prayers... I was moving full-heartedly into my first days of holy soverignty.
For at least the next 7 days, I moved fearlessly into action, telling those close to me what was happening; rushing my visa, listing our apartment up for sublease, selling my car to help cover costs, researching crowd-funding and launching my patreon and before we knew it just 2 weeks later we were on a plane to Guatemala.
We traveled from Guatemala to Peru from March 17th to June 17th and along the way I watched myself unravel, I surrendered and made way for the project to develop itself in ways I could not have imagined back in February, and I am now witnessing myself carrying a heart that has undoubtedly been transformed.
The ah-ha moments and radical realizations are many, so many that I will only touch on one here, as this blog is already lengthy in its' own right, so if you want to get more in-depth and intimate details about my personal revolutions through this journey, just click here and subscribe for as little as $3 a month. There you'll receive exclusive content only available to my patrons, tailored to what most inspires you in regards to hearing the call and answering it.
Upon returning I held strong to the Pachamama rememberings that the great Pre-Incan ancestors passed on to me. I rose up strong and sang medicine songs through the early parts of each day and moved gracefully and leisurely through each now moment, anchoring the teachings of flow and receiving.
Once back in the scattered and overly complicated, disconnected energy of the US I felt my nervous system resisting. The depressing truths of the place we as Americans have been indoctrinated to call home combined with the endless, yet obvious propaganda flooding my social feeds... that I was somehow previously impervious to, seemed to now be overwhelming my pathways at a frankly uncomfortable level.
The depth of truth behind the calling I received back in February began to pierce through me, it asked me to go further to stretch wider, to ask for more, to start stepping into all that I am. As I empathed the world around me from the center of LA, I asked for the next step in the process to continue to undue all that was not me...
Days passing, personal revolutions rang out loud and clear, I was entering a new time of my life; a time for me to nurture myself, in all the ways. Here was the next generation of my illusions around unconditional love preparing to be shattered. My programs of validation from those outside of myself would now be abruptly dismantled, I wept and returned back to la Madre Tierra.
The vision expanded.
Today, a few days returned from the magical Sequoia groves, sacred lands of the Chulamni and many other groups of Yokuts who pre-colonial days would pass through these futile high lands in the summer months... I am renewed.
And most gratefully I have settled into all that Spirit is leading me towards.
So what has this once "simple" documentary morphed itself into & what is being revealed as my true calling?
Let's address this in order:
1. This one-time vision of a documentary sharing the stories, wisdoms and prayers of our grandmothers is now asking to be presented as an 8 part Docu-Series (Where my Netflix bingers at?!). And instead of focusing only on wisdom that is found in those who are physically our elders, I have been instructed to gather stories from all women, of all ages.
My 30 second elevator pitch sounds something like this, though I found it is a constant work in progress:
This is a visual journey that winds fluidly like a river from one woman's stories to the next, seamlessly interweaving the fall and rise of humanity through our collective connection to the Archetypal Mother and all that she is.
We have fallen because we have forgotten, we have forgotten because we disconnected from our innate ways of being, but every woman carries The Heart of the Cosmic Mother within her and this series is a message from women around the world as to how can we come home.
This is a prayer for peace, this is answer to a question that hums in the deepest depths of our souls, a reminder of our true human nature. We are born sovereign beings.
Please let me know in the comment section how that feels to you?
2. And who I am becoming, what is the full embodiment of this Matriarch I feel taking her first unabashed breaths through me... well I am going to spill full details in a separate blog to spare your eyeballs of staring at the screen anymore, because I value and respect your time greatly.
I will say this though- the wisdom that I am gathering from women globally and the unheard or forgotten sacred truths that our Indigenous families around the world are holding strong will be given physical locations to root a solution-based remembrance far and wide.
Along the way, throughout my travels, I am openly and actively searching for the right lands to become fully sustainable eco-hubs for cultural exchange, reconnection, education and safe, accessible healthcare services like trauma rehab, birthing, and integrative holistic healing for those with chronic illnesses.
I am in full manifesting mode! Allowing the divinely aligned team, support and guidance to flow right into my hands for Great Spirit's workings.
So there it is! A personal journey back to my own heart is showing me just how important it is for us all to reconnect with all that is what we simply cannot truly put a name to or a face on. This is what I call the Heart of our Mother and she is waiting for us, as her children, to finally come home.
SENDING ALL YOU BELOVED BEINGS WAVES OF ANGELIC LIGHT.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for being here with me.
If this made you feel a lil' sumtin', sumtin' share below!
Sharing your ah-ha's moments and those bits that give us the tingly-ees all over gives a beautiful permission to others to feel all the good things with confidence, which just to clarify all those good things... that is God, that is Great Spirit.
So, take a quick minute & give someone a nudge to say yes to the feeling and a yes to acting on that feeling, because that is the beginning of personal liberation!! And who in their right mind wouldn't want to spread that kinda love!
Again if you are inspired to support this journey and the further development of this project you can visit my patreon at this link here or email me by filling out my contact form!
